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Starting a Novel
I’ve had this idea bouncing around in my noggin for a long time now – years in fact. Over that time I’ve let it grow a bit, change a bit and see what it needs to be and now it finally feels time to start working on it. I’ve always wanted to write a novel so this is really exciting for me.
I’m sort of aware how huge of a undertaking that is – I’ve written feature length screenplays before so that helps. But, I’ll admit, it’s been such a long time that I feel like I’m dusting off the old cobwebs so to speak.
The idea is a crime novel with just a twist of fantasy. Some of my favourite books are The Peter Grant Decective Series by Ben Aaronovich (Rivers of London etc) which are just fabulous and employ a brilliant mix of crime, magic and fantasy that I love.
I also have been reading the Crow Investigation’s series about Lydia Crow, a PI with an interesting family history and even more fascinating back story into London itself (I have been really enjoying these and they are available to read for free if you have kindle unlimited)
I would say that my idea kind of sits closer to a crime fiction/psychological thriller book end of the genre than the fantasy, but the fantasy is still definitely highly important to the novel.
I am in that planning stage that can feel like it takes forever before you get to sit down and write, but I feel like right now this is the exciting part because I’m getting to shape my characters and my story, figuring out what works and what doesn’t work.
Not to mention the research I’m doing! I am loving researching, reading true crime books, books on human behaviour and things. It’s set to be quite the book…. if only I can pull it off!
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Gear
Here I am spun out on gear
Will tomorrow be less full of fear?
Don’t worry it’s all legal,
Free too, for those that are frugal.
Each prescription goes, if you think I’m a drain,
To fight the good fight – the war on pain.
Because the nerves won’t listen anymore,
They have panic attacks no matter the score.
Adhesions don’t know how to heal
Leaving me unsure how to feel
Unable to trust my own two feet on the floor
Did you think I was joking when I said it’s a war?
Like my body is on a spree
Desperately seeking a space to be free
Trying to find a moment of peace for my mind
Overwhelmed by all my senses find
The world is too bright and too loud
I wonder if the disease is proud
While it hides away, inactive, they say
Leaving me little to do, except pray
That I may live to see days into years
Watch my children grow up, despite all my fears
That the beast inside me will awaken
Because I do not stand here unshaken
Two battles won doesn’t constitute the war
They don’t mean it’ll stay on the floor
All I can do is to find ways to cope
To try and remind myself to live in hope
Here I am, all spun out on gear
Trying not to live in perpetual fear -
Lonely is the Hour
Lonely is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
Deafening roars surround,
As your mind starts to roam,
Silence only grows
With each passing minute –
Wrapping you within it,
As if to keep you from weepingLonely is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
When the sound is getting louder
Vivid colours in the darkness
Are a plague upon your stage
Memories dance before you
As the seconds fall away
Into the chasm of the nightLonely is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
Growing to its crescendo
”Hush now!”
While it’s screaming in your ear
Relentlessly shrieking with laugher
As it carries on its torture,
Methodical and thoroughLonely is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
When the seconds last far longer
As the peace of others mocks you
While you lay down beside them
Minutes counting down time
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock
Until silence drowns out logicLonely is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
It’s invasion nears completion
As the worst assumes position
Then sunshine shatters through
Casting out the dreadful fright
Peace at last as the sun rises
Tranquility soothes fractured nervesPeaceful is the hour,
When the sound of sleep,
Is silence;
Weary eyes begin to close
Breaths become deeper and slower
Muscles relax, free from fear
It’s finally there,
Finally in reach,
Time to give in and sleep
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Little Messages
Little messages travel down to nerves,
That shouldn’t be.
Little messages travel down to nerves,Medication to fight that caused so much harm
I wonder why it was so important that I won,
Destroyed all the receptors it could find
Leaving me brokenLittle messages send pain through my body
That shouldn’t be.
Little messages send pain through my body
They shouldn’t beContorted, I try to fight.
But my skin is aflame,
My organs are gone, lost to the fire.
Even breathing seems to be hard,
All becauseLittle messages carry the flames throughout
That shouldn’t be.
Little messages carry the flames throughout
They shouldn’t beI need to stop the messages, it’s so clear.
The answer lies in a little vial,
To send me to sleep,
Away from the burning,
Call for a doctor, for peace, for reliefLittle messages shutting down slowly,
The answer seeps through me.
Little messages shutting down slowly,
The answer seeps through meBit by bit my body relaxes,
My brain begins to quieten.
The world seems a lot softer,
Almost aglow.
My eyelids so heavy,
Closing the world out.
Dreamless sleep awaitsLittle messages calm at last.
The answer has worked.
Little messages calm at last.
The answer has worked